Lumpy Rugs...

will always make you stumble and hurt yourself and possibly others. What doesn't make sense is the fact that you were the one that swept the debris and mess under there in the first place. I'm sure you can tell that I've been glued to the tv watching Iyanla Vanzant's "Fix My Life" as she interviews Evelyn from Basketball Wives Reality (HA!) show on VH1. I'm in awe of the things we, male and female, ignore in order to get the things we desire at the moment. The temporary fix with the price tag of permanent damage. How do we silence our intellect, a God given customized gift for humans only, so much that we put ourselves and our soul in danger? To substitute meaningful relationships and decisions with shallow and empty ties and choices is a failure of epic proportions. The domino effect of all that will take place is saddening and destructive...not only for ourselves, but for everyone whose space we enter and dwell.

I know for a fact that my son will forever have a strange relationship with money because of how hard we have to struggle and how hard I work to make things as efficient as possible since I am the head of household.. My son is used to me giving him a dollar to put in the collection plate at church. Today in church, he saw I had no dollar bills at all in my wallet and I gave him some change. He tried to give it back and said, " I don't want you to waste your money." My heart sank and I told him that I was ok because we were giving money to God as a thank you for blessing us in so many ways. I can't predict the future. I don't know what direction his attitude will be with finances, super saver or major spender, because of the experiences he's having now. Also, how will this translate in his relationships with women..will he choose gold diggers to prove himself "manly" and worthy or independent women who feel a need to prove themselves? Of course, i'm a worried mother who is doing the "overreaction" thing. *plz email my official mommy membership pkg* All of this comes from making a poor choice in who I picked to create life with..ignored what I was taught by my father and turned a blind eye to the subtle signs that I should've had a V-8 instead. I love my son more than life itself. I'm a work in progress for forgiving myself for the life I created for him as a child without one of his parents. *swinging my double edged sword* I wouldn't have my Nick if I didn't allow the lump under my rug to grow. You sweep, you learn and you move on.

Nowadays, I've taken a strong liking to hardwood floors and no area rugs in sight. Someone from my past didn't get the memo that my old self had taken up permanent residence at the beach. He approached me as if though "she" was still on the clock. I immediately notified him of the change in management. His delivery immediately shifted. Clarity is a beautiful thing...and so is a freshly waxed hardwood floor.Easier on your sinuses and easier to see your beautiful reflection for daily maintenance. When you come to visit, leave your shoes and your blues on the porch.

Smooches!

Respect the Sway